Friendships are extremely important to all of us. A good friend may be with you throughout your life, staying by your side while partners come and go, and giving you understanding, stability and affection. We all need friends – in fact research shows that if you have a few good friends you are likely to be healthier, happier and live longer. But not all friendships are the same. There are some friendships that can do you more harm than good. However, once these people have become part of your life it may be hard to recognize the fact they aren't helping. Friends that aren't true friends won’t make you happy, long term, and often the first clue that someone is not the pal they ought to be comes from the way you feel around them. If someone leaves you feeling bad about yourself or uneasy in some way, ask yourself some straight questions. Could your ‘friend’ be one of the following?
Has this pal betrayed your confidence many times? Maybe they always have a good excuse. Possibly they turn the tables, blaming you for being too secretive. Maybe they say you didn't make it clear that you were entrusting them with something important. But a true friend will respect your privacy and will leave to you what you want to reveal. Never mind how this person may try to get out of it – if they've dropped you in it, drop them out of your life.
This pal could seem like fun – lots of late nights, drinking, eating - smoking. What they offer is pleasurable, short-term, but long-term they are bad for your health and could even cost you your life. Of course we all want to enjoy ourselves, but there are other ways of having a good time that are also healthy. Deep inside this ‘friend’ could be on a self-destruct mission, and they want to take you with them. If you have a mate who is offers you chocolate when you’re dieting or keeps topping up your glass, this may not be because they care about you. Envy or repressed anger could be at the bottom of their behavior – let them take it out on someone else.
The Black Cloud
One of the ways we bond with others is by telling them our troubles. But there are some people who are always moaning and who can’t be cheered up. When you've been with them you feel low, drained – even ill. This sort of person is an emotional vampire and if you let them they will suck away all your energy. You may think you’re needed and valued, but deep within your so-called mate just wants you to feel as miserable as they are. Who needs it? You can’t help them, so help yourself and walk away.
Life is about going forwards. It can be hard when friends move on, change jobs and partners, pass exams and possibly move away, but true friendships last though all of these changes. Even though a pal will feel a twinge when your familiar meet-up routine alters, if they really care about you, they will encourage you. However, if you have a ‘Brake’ in your life, he or she will find reasons to keep you standing still. They don’t want to lose you, and they don’t want you to do better than them, so they find ways to stop you. Maybe they are playing on your lack of confidence. Don’t let yourself be held up. Push onward and leave them standing.
You buy a new outfit and your mate comes in wearing the same. You go on a course and he or she signs up too. You may even have the hots for someone only to find this friend beats you to the chat-up. ‘We’re sooo alike!’ may be the excuse, but that’s nonsense. This person has little sense of identity, and they have no respect for yours, or for your needs and feelings. They are driven by jealousy – don’t let them drive you downwards. There are things you need in life and this person isn't one of them.
It can be really difficult to move on from a friendship, and issues may arise that you haven’t prepared for. At this time you may need some support. At The Circle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading can show ways to move forwards, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 11 MAY 2015