Relationships need thought and effort to keep them at their best. Love is not two people gazing at each other, but a couple looking ahead at the same goal, so take the trouble to find what bonds you.
WHY YOU NEED TO SHARE
When you’re caught up in the first flush of romance it may not matter too much that you don’t have shared interests. Floating on Cloud Nine, you may happily pour the beer for a partner who’s dismantling car engines, or cheerfully carry bags during a Shop-a-thon. But here’s the thing – romance doesn’t last. However crazy you are about each other, there will come a time when ‘in love’ morphs into ‘loving’. That’s when the partnership needs working at, if it’s to go the distance.
One of the nicest things you can do together is have a chuckle. Seek out the kinds of situations that make you both laugh. Laughter relaxes you and alters the chemicals circulating in your brain and bloodstream. It’s a great aphrodisiac, and also a way to lift you both out of any problems or disagreements, into a place where all that seems small, and manageable.
HAVE A PROJECT
It may be DIY, a push for a local charity or starting up a business, but having a shared project really binds you. You’re sharing a vision and creating something real. But – and this is a big ‘BUT’ – you need to put strict ground-rules in place about who is going to do what. You also need to recognize that you have different skills – one may be the ideas person, the other the organiser. Respect each other’s abilities and be fair.
One of the biggest areas of strife for couples is who does the housework. Trouble can arise if you have different standards. There may also be a conflict of perspective – men are more likely to count what they have done, not what needs doing, and accuse their partner of nagging. Women are more likely to see what needs doing, and, well, nag about it. Like so many things this needs frank discussion and agreement. The best way to tackle housework is by doing it together and making it fun! Turn it into a race or a competition. You can blitz all the chores in half the time and feel bonded, into the bargain.
Having meals together is sooo important. Even if you can’t manage this every day, make sure you do it regularly. It’s a very basic thing to the human mind – it all goes back to our ancient past, when the tribe shared food from the hunt. Make an occasion of your meals, even if they’re humble. Light a candle, have something special to drink and ban all phones, tablets and reading material. Only light and pleasant conversation is allowed – no complaints or confrontation. Just enjoy your food – and your relationship.
Another life basic that’s great for bonding, exercise ups your feel-good factor and makes you positive about almost everything. It’s good to know you’re keeping healthy together and sharing that enjoyment.
Your jobs may take you in different directions, family may run you ragged and you need time for friends, too. So how can you fit in a hobby? So many people do, and it often takes them away from the partnership, leaving a ‘golf widow’ – or widower – resentfully at home. That can be a relationship killer. If you have a solitary hobby, limit the time you spend on it. Find something you can share, even if it’s only half an hour doing crosswords, listening to music or picking recipes. The couple that plays together, stays together.
This is the greatest bond of all. Sadly, you can’t just make it happen. But if you and your lover can share any aspects of beliefs, focus on these. This can link you on a level above the emotional and physical. The couple that prays together, stays together too!
Sometimes, however hard you try, you can’t manage to inject enough caring and sharing into your relationship. That’s when you need encouragement and extra help from one of our Readers. There is so much good advice on offer for you at TheCircle. If you want Dating Advice and Relationship Advice they are available with a few clicks, when you contact us. Find support with your Love Issues, get your Relationship Horoscope or benefit from Psychic Insight. There’s no need to struggle alone – put in a call today
PUBLISHED: 10 AUGUST 2015