If your lover suffers from any kind of anxiety disorder, it is very draining for both of you. Your dear one probably realises they are causing you strain, and they will worry about that, also, which can make matters worse. Of course it is only natural that you will feel stressed by their feelings and behavior, and sometimes you may need to get away. This can cause you to feel guilty, and even to lie to them. Soon what began as their problem becomes yours also, and results in a tangle of emotions that naturally affects your relationship.
Take a step back and try to chill. Then follow these tips.
There are many types of anxiety disorder, such as panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive, post-traumatic stress syndrome and others. Make sure you have a diagnosis and find out all you can, because in that way you can be more objective. However, remember also that each person is an individual. Psychiatrists label different types of disorder in order to make them manageable, and treatable, but not everything may apply to your partner. So be flexible and realise that there is always something to learn.
Truly listening is a valuable skill, so let your partner talk as much as he or she wants. If they are unwilling to talk, this may be because they have been dismissed in the past or are afraid of appearing ‘silly’, so give them time. Remember that you don’t have to have the answers, or be able to fix this, just listening has a kind of magic about it.
However worried you may be (and there will probably be times that you almost despair) be positive with your partner. Tell them that they are going to get better, that they are not crazy and that you aren’t seriously alarmed about them.
Mental disorders are invisible, but they are just as painful – if not more painful – than physical ones. Your partner hasn’t chosen this and there may not be a quick fix. Be kind, and go on the ‘journey’ with them.
Try not to make your lover feel pressurised to change. This will just add to the anxiety. Do your best to organize life so it is manageable like it is. This can be hard when all you want is to have your lover be ‘normal’, but the more you can accept them as they are, the more likely they are to find a way to move on.
You won’t always be able to be there when your dear one needs you. You have other things to see to, such as your job, domestic matters and also times for fun and recreation. Tell your lover when you will be available and ask them to hold on to the feelings until you can spend time with them again – and always keep your promises.
GET HELP – PROFESSIONAL OR OTHERWISE
There is no reason to try to cope with this alone. Your partner needs counselling or some other form of therapy. Friends and family can also be helpful, depending on their attitude. Sometimes people who are anxious are afraid that others will think they’re mad. They can also shrink from interference, or not want to make other people worried. But it’s not fair on either of you to keep this totally under wraps. Remember our helpful readers at The Circle are always there, to offer warmth and insight when you need help.
GET SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF
There are sure to be times when it all feels too much. Also, while your partner is going through this anxiety it’s unlikely that they can be fully ‘there’ for you, when you need consolation and support. Make sure you have your own sources and don’t feel guilty if sometimes you feel you can’t put up with any more.
RELY ON YOUR PARTNER WHERE YOU CAN
Depending how severe the problem is, anxious people can also be very sensitive and caring. It may well be that your partner, during better phases, can give you encouragement. Occasionally, knowing another person has their own issues can restore perspective for someone who is worrying, and helping you will be fulfilling for your partner. So don’t shield them too much.
Sometimes, however hard you try, you can’t manage to encourage your lover to create positive change. That’s when you need help and support for yourself. There is so much good advice on offer for you at The Circle. If you want dating advice and relationship advice they are available with a few clicks, when you contact us. Find support with your love issues, get your relationship horoscope or benefit from psychic insight. There’s no need to struggle alone – put in a call today
PUBLISHED: 18 MAY 2015