The bells are ringing out for new starts. People are singing and partying, making plans and resolutions and wishing each other the best year ever. For you, all is bleak and empty. Will this loneliness ever go, or are you doomed to be on your own? Even when everything seems darkness, there is a way forward.
IF THIS IS A PATTERN
Is this one of many New Years that have begun for you in solitary fashion? If you want this to be the last, make some changes.
• There’s no point hoping that your life will alter while you remain the same. A shift now has to come from within. Resolve to explore this and make it happen, starting this January.
• You may need counseling or healing. Don’t assume that just because you feel okay, there is nothing wrong. Psychologically you may be stuck with bad habits and negative beliefs. Become aware of these and change them.
• Are you being too proud? Pride, of one sort or another, can stop us getting close to others, so be honest. Learn to see the divine in all people. Of course, not everyone will be a suitable partner for you, but there may be more out there than you realize.
• Are you being too picky? Self-respect is essential, but are you holding out for unrealistic standards in possible partners or friends? If so, you are closing doors that could offer companionship.
• Are you afraid? Fear of rejection is one of the greatest barriers to forming loving bonds. If this is you, you need to push through it. Take a different attitude – resolve to chalk up each ‘rejection’ as an achievement, a battle scar that you wear with pride and something that strengthens you. Never let any rejection stop you in your tracks for one person’s opinion is just that - one person’s opinion. There are billions of people in the world and most of those are going to like you.
• Change your habits. Whatever it is you are doing, so far it hasn’t brought the companionship that you long for, so it has to change, possibly drastically. Go to different places, do different things and be excited about life.
• Visualise a future with a lovely partner. Avoid fleshing out details of this being – just see yourself happy and contented.
• Do what you feel passionate about – and lots of it. Being fired up and absorbed carries its own magnetism.
IF THIS IS A NEW SITUATION
If you are newly bereaved, or separated from someone you love, the New Year may stretch ahead of you like a wasteland, and sometimes it seems impossible to go on. But it won’t always be like that.
• Remember that time truly is a great healer. The wound doesn’t go away, but gradually you begin to notice it less and less. Don’t try to imagine this, just have faith that one day you will feel better, because you will.
• Talk, talk, talk. If you are bereaved, talk to friends and family. If you have lost a lover, the same applies. If you are embarrassed about this and think you’ll be a burden, say so, and explain that you’d like some time each day to offload. You’ll be surprised at how much people like to help. It might be best for both of you if you set limits – as in ‘Can I talk for half an hour while you have a cuppa?’ or ‘Can I phone you at 8pm for half an hour’s chat?’ Keep to your time limit and arrange another time, either with the same person or someone else. These interludes can be a beacon in your day.
• Grieve consciously and openly. Times to cry are beneficial – even essential. Again a time limit can help. Tell yourself ‘I’ll fall apart for twenty minutes.’ People often assume that if they open the floodgates they won’t be able to close them, but actually crying is healthy. It’s common knowledge, so benefit from it.
• Have time off from your usual activities, so you can recover. Healing may seem like a million miles away, but this is part of the process.
• Set a time to get ‘back in the saddle’ and keep to it. Doing your day-to-day tasks may seem like climbing a mountain, but like a stiff limb your mind and emotions will get back into action.
• Believe in better. See yourself in a situation in the future when you are smiling again. No need to fill in too many details – just relaxed and peaceful.
• Remember the spiritual perspective. If you are bereaved, your loved one is close by. Can you sense them? Allow the love that connected you to form a bridge and realize that you are not alone. If you have parted from your lover, remember that this life is not the only existence. If you believe in reincarnation, twin souls will always be united. If you believe in an afterlife, there is union of souls there also. Allow your awareness to extend beyond this world and take a broader perspective. Love and grace surround you.
• Check out the points in the above section ‘IF THIS IS A PATTERN’ and put any of them that apply to you into practice. You are not powerless and there are things you can change.
THERE IS HELP OUT THERE. At The Circle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading is one fabulous start to the year, so make contact with us without delay
PUBLISHED: 20 January 2015