At this poignant time of year it’s doubly hard to be without those you love. Reminders seem to be everywhere. In the shops you spot just the right gift, only to realize the person who would appreciate it is no longer close by. Out come the decorations, up goes the tree, but there is always something vital missing. The festive cheer all around you only rubs salt into the wound. Will you ever heal? And how can you make it through on your own?
You may be telling yourself to be brave and carry on, possibly so you don’t spoil things or aren’t a burden, but your emotions need to come out. It can help to promise yourself time to cry. Gather mementoes of past, happier Christmases and settle with your grief for a while. You may weep and rage or feel awash with loss. Allow yourself long enough, perhaps twenty minutes or half an hour. Then promise yourself you will carry on – until your next ‘outlet time’. It will help if you can do this away from home, possibly in a cemetery (if your loved one has died) or in a church, woodland or wherever feels comfortable. Then, when your ‘outlet time’ is over, you can physically leave the place and move on.
You can make a shrine in a corner of your home where you display photos and light candles. You can even hang mementoes and pics on your tree, if it makes you feel better. The person you have ‘lost’ is never truly lost and will always be with you. If your loss doesn’t involve a death you may choose to deal with it differently, but treat your memories as a treasure. No-one can ever take them away from you, and they are part of the person you are, enriching you forever.
Charities are more active at this time of year, quite rightly tapping into the seasonal message. How would you like to make a difference? What can you offer? If possible put your energies into making something better for someone, and think of all you do as an effort you are making for the sake of your loved one. Consciously throw the power of your love for them into your efforts – so much the better if you can create a public memorial, such as a charity fund in their name. If you can tell yourself that the world is a better place due to your loss, that can warm you, even if only a very little at first.
I lost my sister two Christmases ago and at each Christmas I bought myself a well-chosen gift that could have come from her. I can imagine her talking to me about it, and when I look at the gift I feel her close. This year it is a special mug with ‘Happy Christmas’ written around the rim. It’s a little ploy you can adopt to sense your loved one nearby. Choose something you will use often, or something snugly to wear, like a scarf. If your loved-one hasn’t passed on, but is parted from you for some reason, then you will have to buy a present from your Higher Self, encouraging you to believe in better.
We all know the message can be lost in the materialistic mayhem, the concentration on gifts and food and in the stress that comes with being busy and wanting to ‘get it right’. Often it takes something sad or difficult to make us tune in to what it’s really all about. Hope emerging out of despair, light dawning in the darkness, rebirth from what seemed cold and empty, and the gift of Grace – those Christmas meanings are for you.
Of course it is good to talk, and although every grief is unique that shouldn’t cut you off from sharing. Maybe it will make more difference than you think. At The Circle you can always contact a psychic or medium who can help you. Benefit from a psychic reading, check your horoscope, get some advice, insight and support. A clairvoyant reading is one fabulous present to give yourself, so make contact with us without delay.
PUBLISHED: 15 December 2014