Sometimes you just know deep inside that something is right for you, but no-one else seems to agree. Friends raise their eyebrows and give you warnings and even the people you thought you could most rely on are turning their backs. Should you give up, play safe and keep their approval? Or should you follow that inner voice? With a mixture of intuition and common sense you can be your own best advisor.
There are several reasons why you’re not getting the thumbs up.
1) A great deal of the opposition to your plans may have nothing at all to do with the plan itself. One thing we humans love is to know where we stand. Peeps are used to you the way you are. If your fresh ambitions threaten their familiar view of you, you’re stepping out of role and a corner of their cosy world is threatened, too.
2) Is that image of you as a successful entrepreneur/artist/writer too much to take? In other words, are your friends jealous? Many of us are very discontented with our lot and plain old same old, but we’re too scared to do anything about it. The thought that you might break the mould and show them up may be very unwelcome, causing them to be even more unhappy.
3) Are you showing them a reality they want to ignore? If people have been convincing themselves they were enjoying their life and their job, even though deep inside they’re bored and frustrated, your bright ideas might throw light into corners they don’t want to see. Can you blame them?
4) Maybe they are genuinely afraid for you. Friends and family that truly care for you may worry that you’re going to end up in a worse position than you are now. That’s nice of them, but it could mean they don’t believe in you. Those who depend on you, such as your partner, are bound to be more nervous than the others. They are the ones whose support is the most difficult to do without.
The opposition you’re receiving serves some really good purposes. It makes you think about what you want, and why you want it. It should cause you to play with alternatives, to check your facts and to be practical.
1) Ask yourself how you will feel in five, ten, twenty years if you don’t do this. If the answer is ‘pretty awful’ then that’s a clear sign you need to do something.
2) Often in life it is better to regret what you have done, than what you haven’t. If you make a mistake you can learn from it, but those unfilled gaps, those unlived yearnings haunt you permanently.
3) Try to work out impartially and sensibly why you have your detractors. Be honest. If it really is to do with points 1, 2 & 3, above, then be strong and ignore them. Hopefully you’ll find better friends if you’re true to yourself.
4) Do you have the skills you need? Realism is important. If you need more training, try to get it while still in your current employment. Work to ensure your schemes have a solid foundation, and those in point 4 will be reassured.
5) Talk to others who have taken your route and find out how they succeeded. With any luck you can learn something from their mistakes.
6) Maybe those who don’t believe in you are picking up on your own lack of confidence. If you are taking a leap, the one person who must believe in you is you. It’s natural to be scared when you’re making a big change, but if that anxiety is in any way linked to being unsure that you can do it, first prove to yourself that you have the necessary talent. For instance, if you want to be a author, get some articles published before you retreat from the world to write your best-seller. If you want to start a cake-making business, bake in your spare time and sell your wares at sales. Once you have faith in your abilities, you’ll be unstoppable.
It takes huge strength to go it alone, especially when the opposition is tough. If you get to the stage where you’re almost caving, you need impartial and insightful advice. This is available from our readers, who also have the intuition needed about the future. Put in a call today and find the clarity you need.
PUBLISHED: 20 October 2014