Most of us suffer from stress at one time or another. A supportive partnership can help you get through stress, as long as it doesn’t go on for too long. However bonded you are with your partner, continual tension is bound to take its toll. Modern life is a strain for so many of us, but a good relationship is the most precious thing you can have. Learn how to keep the affects of stress to a minimum, so you enjoy the benefits of love and your partnership can thrive.
Here we look at:
- How negative perceptions impinge on love
- The importance of your sex life
NEGATIVE PERCEPTIONS CAN SEEP INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Are you under incessant pressure, feeling that what you have to do is impossible and you’re just not able to cope? Then you may become hopeless, repeating to yourself phrases like ‘It’s all too much’, ‘I’m failing miserably’ and ‘Everything is awful.’
This attitude understandably can spill over into your relationship. You may find it harder to resolve disagreements. With no energy for positive discussion and no faith that you can work things through, even small issues can become make or break. Generally you may feel that as you can’t succeed in anything, your partnership is likely to be as rubbish as everything else. Life may seem so difficult that you stop believing in romance altogether.
If this happens, self-awareness is your greatest ally. Understand that the negative way you’re looking at the world does not apply to your relationship. Tell your lover what you feel is going on for you and apologise that they have been caught up in it. Ask for understanding and reassure them that you appreciate them. Each evening make sure you count up all the good things about your partner and dwell on the nice things they have done for you that day, even if was just to make you a cup of tea. Let gratitude warm your heart and lift you.
PRIORITISE YOUR SEX LIFE
Stress is exhausting. Add that to a negative outlook and the chances are you’ll be too tired for sex. Sex is so important to your relationship because it brings you close. It is the greatest intimacy a couple can experience, a way to show deep affection – and it is, in itself, a fabulous stress-reliever that brings many health benefits..
However worn out you are, make time for sex. People’s sex-drives vary, but once a week is good to aim for. Prepare for a romantic evening with a scented bath and some music. If you’re short of time and money, that doesn’t matter. A simple baked potato by candlelight can be a feast. Television and phones are banned – concentrate on each other and have an early night!
WATCH YOUR CONFIDENCE LEVELS
A good relationship does wonders for your confidence and we all hope that our loved one will make us feel more self-assured. But when you’re under a lot of stress you can feel powerless, and that affects confidence. Then you may look to your lover for continual encouragement.
A little support is one thing but leaning on your loved one and expecting them to boost you all the time is bound to take its toll. In addition, however deeply your partner cares for you, lack of self-esteem is bound to make you less attractive, long term. Even the most loving partner wants to be more to you than your counsellor.
Stress can also affect your body image, making you slouch, clench your jaw, fidget, frown and lose sleep. Try to combat this by telling yourself all the things you’re good at. Unburden to friends so your partner has a break. Treat yourself to body-boosting treatments like massage, reflexology and spa days. Above all, do not neglect your appearance. However stressed you feel, take care with your grooming and clothes. Plan healthy meals with your partner, so you don’t gain weight, and exercise together, to boost the body’s own natural stress-relieving hormones. Sex is great for this too!
ANGER CAN BE DESTRUCTIVE
Stress inevitably makes you irritable. If you take this out on your loved one – which you almost inevitably will – it’s bound to lead to problems.
Firstly, explain to your partner that you’re on edge and ask for their understanding. Tell them you may be snappy, but you don’t mean it.
Secondly, always say sorry, sooner rather than later. Sorry in itself may not be enough, if you have majorly lost it, so make it up with little gifts and acts of kindness. Yes, you are very stressed and doing these things may add to your burden – but only for a while. What you get back in love and understanding will be worth it.
HOW WE CAN HELP
We have looked at the effect of negative perceptions on your relationship, the importance of your sex life and confidence, plus the effects of anger. All of these are important factors in relationships and being aware of them will help you manage the results of stress. However, if you really feel overwhelmed and that your tension is undermining your ability to relate, our wise, calming Readers are always on hand with a wealth of advice to boost your relationships and ease stress, so put in a call today and regain your loving tranquillity.
PUBLISHED: 17 October 2017